cartwright
UKC Forum Member
Registered: Sep 2008
Location: HUNTERS HAVEN, WV
Posts: 3634 |
Ol' Darv_buys a brand new_Ford F-250 Super Duty pickup_for $52,500 that has $560 monthly payments. He goes duck hunting in the winter while Summersville_Lakes_is frozen solid._
He_goes out on the lake with_his shotgun,_his dog and, of course,_his new truck._
Ol' Darv_drives out onto the frozen lake, unload_his shotgun, decoys, dog, etc. and gets ready._
Now,_he wants to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks and something for_his decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, to do this it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill._
So, Ol'_Darv_reaches behind the seat_of his new pickup_a pulls out_a stick of_DYNAMITE with a short, 60-second fuse._
Remind_Ol' Darv is no_Rocket Scientist so do take into consideration that_he wants to place this stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where_he is_standing (and_his new truck), because_he don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when_he runs from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast._
Ol' Darv_light's the 60-second fuse and throws the dynamite as far as he can._
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the truck, the shotgun and the dog? Well let's talk about the dog for a moment._A highly trained Black Lab is used for RETRIEVING. Especially things thrown by the owner._
Yep you guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 60-second fuse about the time it hits the ice._Ol' Darv_yells, screams, waves his_arms and wonders what to do now._
Well the dog was cheered on by all the shouting and waving and_kept coming right at Ol' Darv and his new truck._
Ol' Darv_grabs_his shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with # 8 birdshot, great for ducks, but hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but soon continues on._
So_Ol' Darv fires another_shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and, of course, terrified, thinking that Ol' Darv_have gone insane._
The dog takes off to find the nearest cover, which happens to be under_Ol' Darv's_brand new truck._
----BOOM!---- Dog and truck_are blown to bits and sink to the bottom of_Summersville_Lake in a very large hole, leaving Ol' Darv standing there with this "I can't believe_what just happened" look on his face._
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered by their policy._
Ol' Darv still had yet to make the first of those $560 a month payments. Remember the next time you go duck hunting leave the dynamite at the house._
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02-23-2014 05:32 AM
